WMDs Found and bin Laden Caught
| Saddam Hussein's massive stockpile of weapons of mass destruction has been found today in Iraq. US troops entered the underground bunker where they found backpack nukes, chemical and biological weapons, and a partially built ICBM with Uncle Sam painted on the tip. In the back room of this bunker, Osama bin Laden was caught unaware because he had headphones on while listening to the Anthrax album Spreading the Disease, frantically trying to decode the tricks to biological weapon deployment obviously encrypted in Scott Ian's guitar shredding. President Bush addressed the world on TV today proclaiming the war on terror over, the war in Iraq justified, the upcoming elections cancelled and the 22nd amendment null and void, making himself the president for life to the cheers of all Americans of every political persuasion. Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity and Michelle Malkin engaged in a celebratory wild sex orgy on a Fox News set, all moaning "I told you so" with each thrust, which accidentally went out live on the air during family hour. Crews immediately went to Mount Rushmore with dynamite and jackhammers to change the faces of Teddy Roosevelt and Thomas Jefferson to Bush and Cheney, while bin Laden was turned over to the NYPD where he was violently violated with a broomstick before being tossed into a crowded cell of Aryan Brotherhood members at Rikers Island, all broadcast on pay-per-view and hosted by Vince McMahon. Labels: april fools |
Comments on "WMDs Found and bin Laden Caught"
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Michael Manning said ... (4/1/08 10:16 PM) :
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People in the Sun said ... (4/2/08 4:16 PM) :
post a commentJason: Many good stimulating points are addressed here regarding fake politics and characters that are too weird for me. This entire war is strange for a multitude of reasons in my mind.
One, why didn't Hans Blix tell us the WMD's were dismantled after his team entered the country? I guess an argument could be made that his UN inspector teams kept being invited in Iraq then were denied access and thus, all that film footage of his entourage leaving happened without he and his teams knowing this had already taken place. I'll cut him some slack on that point. But then he contradicts himself. WTF?
Two, there is no doubt Saddam Hussein was a bastard torturing and killing almost 1 million people. But we never got involved when the Kurds were gassed? Why? Plus, as Bruce Springsteen said "You can't save the whole world, but ya gotta try". I'm overwhelmed with the number of countries involved in genocide. We need partnerships with other countries on such a mass scale. Can it be stopped? That's all I can think of.
Three, while I'm glad Hussein, his sons and other brutal murderers have met the fate they have doled out for years, any ideology to liberate the country is just overly-ambitious with idiots like Rumsfeld left in place who refused to listen to Powell or the people. This just leaves me drained.
Four, I'm all for schools being built and teachers being paid $40K and women receiving a semblance of the beginning of a future. But the insurgency has us "stuck" unless a coalition with other countries enters to quote John Kerry "so we can do what needs to be done in Afghanistan and kill the terrorists". On that point, McCain agrees.
Fifth and lastly, witness that Rush Bimbo, Sean Hannity and that idiot Bill Cunningham in Cincinnati radio (who along with Ann Coulter should have their broadcasting licenses stripped) dislike McCain while Obama and Hillary are fighting so bitterly. If the political fighting would just stop so we could have some human, civilized dialogue, maybe the American people can sort this out without all the BS. I'm just exhausted by it all!
Man, you had me fooled all the way to the label