Lord, Save me From Your Followers

I've always felt that the people who say that the entire Islamic world just wants to kill the West are taking things a bit too far. Whenever I'm in an argument with somebody who uses that idea to justify every bit of horrible foreign or domestic policy made by this horrible administration, my typical response is that there are some very bad fundamentalists who are making the mainstream masses look bad. Then when I saw much of the Islamic world rioting in the streets over some cartoons of Mohammad, it made me think that perhaps the Muslim masses aren't so mainstream after all. But this news gives me some hope... apparently there's an Islamist candidate running for president of Turkey and the masses there are out protesting to keep Turkey secular. Members of the Turkish military have said that they will intervene if the Islamists try to take over, but the pro-democracy protesters aren't particularly crazy about that option either. I hope the Turks can manage to continue being an example of moderation in a part of the world that clings to scary religious extremism, especially since our country took one of the few other secular states in the region and thrust them into a civil war between various factions of Muslim extremists who want to rule their country with their particular brand of religion. Now I have nothing in particular against the concept of religion. I don't believe in it, but I know that many people in the world do, and many of them believe without trying to shove it down the throats of others, kill in the name of it, or otherwise make the world a lousy place because of their beliefs. But there are enough people who are so damn crazy about their religion that they aren't satisfied with just following it themselves. They need everybody to believe what they believe, and they aren't afraid to kill to make that happen. We have seen just how horrible things can get for people when religious extremists take over a country and force everybody to live by their rules. Afghanistan under the Taliban was perhaps the worst example of a human rights nightmare theocracy. That is why when we see anybody who even thinks about establishing a theocracy in any country, they should be crushed immediately. But people right here in the USA seem blind to the fact that there is indeed a faction of Christian extremists who want exactly that. They are called Dominionists and you can read more about them here, here, here, here (qt video), here, and please pay particular attention to the way that dominionism is gaining footholds in our military and be afraid enough to do something about it.

Best. Firefox. Plugin. Ever!

Uncensor the Internet is a plugin for Firefox that will change those asterisk-ed out swear words into the real deal. Now all we need is a plugin that will remove black bars, blurs and pixelation from the naughty bits of photos.

I don't usually do these but...

I'm not usually one to participate in blog memes like this, but I came across this one on another blog and without pointing fingers and laughing, this unnamed blogger's taste in film made me cringe and wince so I had to do this myself to somehow make up for it. So, without further ado... 1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times. Clerks 2. Name a movie that you’ve seen multiple times in the theater. Pulp Fiction 3. Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie. Edward Norton 4. Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie. Meg Ryan 5. Name a movie that you can quote from. Big Lebowski 6. Name a movie musical that you know all the lyrics to all the songs. South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut 7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with. Rocky Horror Picture Show 8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see. The Good, The Bad and the Ugly 9. Name a movie that you own. Just one? 10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops. Eminem... NOT! But seriously, Ice Cube. 11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what? Oh yeah. First one ever was Star Wars. Most recently was Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 12. Ever made out in a movie? I am embarrassed to admit that I made out through the entirety of Gladiator. 13. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven’t gotten around to it. The Professional 14. Ever walked out of a movie? Yes. I went to see Black Hawk Down with my wife before we were married, but she couldn't hack the realness of the combat. 15. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater. Frida 16. Popcorn? It's a love/hate thing. I like the taste, especially when it's nice and buttery, but I hate how salty it is and how it sticks in my teeth forever 17. How often do you go to the movies Not so often now that we have a baby 18. What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? The Last King of Scotland 19. What’s your favorite/preferred genre of movie? R-rated comedy, offbeat indie or artistically done action 20. What’s the first movie you remember seeing in the theater? I know I'd seen a bunch of Disney movies, but the first non-animated movie I remember my dad taking me to was Close Encounters of the Third Kind. 21. What movie do you wish you had never seen? Spice World (don't ask) 22. What is the scariest movie you’ve seen? I don't know if it was the scariest, but the creepiest scary movie I've seen recently had to be The Ring 23. What is the funniest movie you’ve seen? There are a lot of very funny movies, but the funniest I've seen recently was Borat.

American Taliban Bomb Threat Thwarted

Few things piss me off as much as people who are so warped by their extreme religious beliefs that they justify killing for their cause. There's no shortage of news coverage of Muslim wackjobs who are blowing themselves up in order to kill us western infidels or to force their narrow religious views upon the people of countries like Afghanistan. If only this sort of criminally insane religion was limited just to Muslims in other countries. But we do have our own homegrown religious terrorists right here in the USA. The differences between the Muslim terrorists and Christian terrorists are 1) The Christian terrorists ironically call themselves "pro-life" and 2) The Christians have figured out how to plant a bomb without blowing themselves up along with it, but 3) the Christian terrorists haven't quite figured out how to get these bombs to blow up at all. (CNN) -- An explosive device "which could have caused substantial harm" was found Wednesday in the parking lot of an Austin, Texas, women's clinic where abortions are performed, authorities said. "It was configured in such a way as to cause serious bodily injury or death," Austin Police Assistant Chief David Carter told reporters Thursday. [full story]

Take Your Crazy Somewhere Else!

Until a couple days ago, our new town has been really good to us. Things have been really easy to get to, and the downtown area has been a beautiful and safe place to take Stella for a walk. We're within walking distance to shops, coffee, parks and playgrounds with nice people all along the way. My favorite part of the day has been my post-work walk with Stella. I'll stroll her over to the park, let her run around and chase a ball, see other kids, point and laugh at doggies, and then we stroll back. That all changed two days ago when some crazy dude decided to take an interest in my family. We were on our way back from the park when a very large, shoeless and disheveled man came up to me from behind the library and told me that he was on SSI and could only have $1000 in the bank so he wanted to donate money to my family because he thought it was good that a family was moving here and that no families with children have lived here in 20 years. He was rambling about how he can't go to the post office because the blacks hate him, and that the mafia was after him too. I was thoroughly creeped out and quickly took Stella right home and told Anne about it. Yesterday as we started our walk, I was filled with dread as I saw him crossing the street to approach us. He asked if I was psychic and I said no. Then he tried handing me a handwritten note and asked if I could read it. I said I didn't have time and started walking away and he handed me the note and said it could save my life. It is the ramblings of a lunatic, talking about the aliens and "niggers" who are trying to turn him into a child molester. I have attached scans of the note to this email. It's some scary stuff. It was definitely written specifically for me and he closed it saying "that's all for now." For now means he intends to share more of his psychosis with us which I really do not fucking need, and I sure as hell don't need my sweet little daughter exposed to this. Needless to say, our little piece of paradise has now become rather uncomfortable. Anne's not sure who this guy is and she goes walking with Stella all the time. We have left messages for the cop who is in charge of our beat, but have not heard back yet. I will be making some phone calls today though. I realize that it's not against the law to be insane and creepy, but I seriously want this dude the hell away from me and my family. If you've got the stomach for serious creepy, you can click the thumbnails to see the letter. And any thoughts on what to do would be most welcome.

What's George McGovern Been Up To?

I was born the same year that McGovern ran for president, so I have no first hand knowledge of him, and most of the second hand knowledge is from republicans bashing anyone who doesn't think that a reckless war is such a good idea is a "McGovernite." I kind of always assumed that he had died years ago. But apparently he is alive, kicking, and bitchslapping the Bush administration in general and Dick Cheney in particular. THE VICE PRESIDENT spoke with contempt of my '72 campaign, but he might do well to recall that I began that effort with these words: "I make one pledge above all others — to seek and speak the truth." We made some costly tactical errors after winning the nomination, but I never broke my pledge to speak the truth. That is why I have never felt like a loser since 1972. In contrast, Cheney and Bush have repeatedly lied to the American people. It is my firm belief that the Cheney-Bush team has committed offenses that are worse than those that drove Nixon, Vice President Spiro Agnew and Atty. Gen. John Mitchell from office after 1972. Indeed, as their repeated violations of the Constitution and federal statutes, as well as their repudiation of international law, come under increased consideration, I expect to see Cheney and Bush forced to resign their offices before 2008 is over. Aside from a growing list of impeachable offenses, the vice president has demonstrated his ignorance of foreign policy by attacking House Speaker Nancy Pelosi for visiting Syria. Apparently he thinks it is wrong to visit important Middle East states that sometimes disagree with us. Isn't it generally agreed that Nixon's greatest achievement was talking to the Chinese Communist leaders, which opened the door to that nation? And wasn't President Reagan's greatest achievement talking with Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev until the two men worked out an end to the Cold War? Does Cheney believe that it's better to go to war rather than talk with countries with which we have differences? We, of course, already know that when Cheney endorses a war, he exempts himself from participation. On second thought, maybe it's wise to keep Cheney off the battlefield — he might end up shooting his comrades rather than the enemy. [full article] Of course, a scathing letter from an anti-war democrat isn't going to change anything, but it's still an awfully fun read. As this administration's house of cards is crumbling, I look forward to seeing even more scathing stuff directed at them from within their own party as the candidates race to distance themselves.

A Very Important Video

While more Americans are dying in the civil war that George Bush started in Iraq... While people are clamoring to find things to blame for the Virginia Tech massacre... While the presidential candidates are busy campaigning on MySpace... There are forces of good and evil engaged in the age-old battle with one another that we never hear about in the mainstream media. Please watch this informative video.

What's the deal?

OK folks, I need some feedback here. I know on Battle of the Blogs you win some and you lose some and the voters can be a fickle bunch, but when I lose to a really bad blog (I'm not going to be naming names, but it's the blog equivalent of fam' spam, you know that multi-forwarded crap that you get from that one kooky old aunt who just discovered the intarweb), I have to think that there's something seriously wrong with this blog or myself. I know that sometimes my tone may be a tad caustic, but for the most part I try to offer something worth reading. Being the snarky sarcastic opinionated type that I am, I've probably managed to build up a solid bloc who will vote against me automatically because of a comment I may have left on their blog. And since much of my content is a political nature, I probably have some built in votes against me just based on ideology. I take these as a given. So I'd really like to know from people why you either vote for or against me in these silly battles of the blogs. Thanks.

In the Wake of Tragedy, Asshattery Abounds

Practically before the bodies of those killed at Virginia Tech have hit the ground, the extremists on both sides of the gun control issue have used this tragedy to further their political agendas. On one side, there's some LA Times writer who says we should "lay down our right to bear arms." That's just ridiculous. Too many people forget that this country was founded upon a revolution against a tyrannical regime and that our founding fathers wanted to be damn sure that the people would have the means to overthrow the government if it gets to be too tyrannical. Of course, the founding fathers could never have predicted the sort of military hardware that would make such an overthrow very difficult to say the least, but that's beside the point. It's open to debate whether the Bush administration has crossed the line between being a legitimate government under our constitution or an out-of-control tyrant regime and whether these problems could be fixed either by the bullet or the ballot, but many of those who would be the ones to take up arms against the sort of tyranny of this administration are the very ones who are trying to take away the means to do so. Then you've got the other end of the spectrum, the Motor City Madman, the man who penned such literary rock and roll songs as "Wang Bang Sweet Poontang," Ted Nugent, who thinks that guns should be completely unrestricted. Anyone should be able to carry a gun anywhere so we can protect ourselves, just like the Wild West. Yeeeeeehaw and Wango Tango! Sweaty Teddy takes it way too far, and I hate myself for saying this, but I find myself coming closer to his side on the issue. The bad guys are always going to have guns, and these restrictions are only hurting the good guys. The thing is, both sides of this issue want the same thing. Neither one wants there to be violent crime. The pro-gun side comes off as being callous and angry while the anti-gun side comes off as emotional and reactionary, and both sides are so wrapped up in their arguments that they fail to see the forest for the trees. There is a bigger picture here that neither side is looking at, quite probably something socio-economic. I don't claim to have any answers, or to even be smart enough to figure them out, but I know where to start looking. Canada has just as many, if not more guns per capita than the US, yet nowhere near the amount of gun violence. What are they doing right that we're not, eh?

Tonight a Nation Mourns

People dying every day in Iraq, the largest school massacre in history, college athletes being called "nappy headed hos" by scary undead cowboy disk jockeys, and now this... We are living in very ugly, scary and unhappy times, and then along comes one dorky teenager with great hair and a huge smile whose horrible singing has made a cheesy TV singing competition fun to watch. Now he's gone and we have 6 more weeks of boring performances by mediocre singers doing trite renditions of pedestrian crap. Of course, like the two times George Bush was "elected," I highly question the validity of this vote. If anything, the Vote Sanjaya momentum was building. As his performances got worse every week, he kept getting more and more votes, and more and more media buzz. He was on the cover of People magazine while the guy who runs VoteForTheWorst.com was on Howard Stern and David Letterman yesterday. Between Jeff the Drunk and Eric the Midget alone, there were at least 750 pledged Sanjaya votes and that's not even counting the rest of the Wack Pack let alone the Stern Army. I smell a rat here. Whoever is behind this blatant act of reality television voting fraud, I just want you to know that you have let down an entire nation, and probably made Eric the Midget cry. Nice work.

Be the Media!

I don't want to talk about the news today. I am depressed over the Virginia Tech massacre and disgusted by the media's usual exploitation of human tragedy. As I've said before, technology continues to make it easier for us each to be our own media outlet. And this nifty website is about the easiest set of instructions on how to do it that I've ever seen (via). I haven't done much with my own video blog in ages. It's really a mishmash of random video pieces I have, but someday I'd really like to have an actual show. As much as I like to make snarky commentary on this blog, I don't think I'd want to go in front of the camera with that sort of thing. What I'd really like to do is an internet sitcom with all the great sitcom cliches like the wacky neighbor, the sassy matronly lady and the bimbo. Now all I need is a premise...

Holy Fucking Shit

What the hell is wrong with people? More. More.

Quick Thoughts

I'm all over the blogosphere! OK, maybe not all over the whole blogosphere, but I did just get a little rant published on Disgruntled Workforce about the jerks I used to work for, and one of the readers wants to buy me lots of whiskey. Mmmmmm whiskey! The whole Imus imbroglio has claimed its first real victim. Not some insulted college jocks. Not Imus who gets to retire a little early. And not the American public who has to hear about this instead of important news about Sanjaya's feeble attempt at facial hair or what Howard K. Stern is up to now that he's officially not Anna's baby daddy. No, this time the dumb comment of a fake cowboy on the radio has taken out a governor. Jon Corzine, myself and the tens of people who read this blog wish you a speedy recovery. And another big surprise about the most evil of all the evil people working in the Bush administration... apparently years worth of Karl Rove's emails have been "lost."

Breaking News! Paul Wolfowitz is a Sleazy Bastard

Gee, who would have thought that a former high level member of the Bush administration, one of the primary neoconservative ideologues behind the war in Iraq would continue being a corrupt and sleazy scumbag in his new job as head of an organization that aims to turn the entire third world into one giant outsourced sweatshop for multinational corporations under the guise of humanitarianism? World Bank President Paul D. Wolfowitz publicly apologized yesterday for the "mistake" of personally orchestrating a high-paying job and guaranteed promotions for a bank employee with whom he is romantically involved, as new details of his role in the arrangement emerged and staff members angrily demanded his resignation. Wolfowitz attempted to address about 200 staffers gathered in the bank's central atrium but left after some began hissing, booing, and chanting "Resign. . . . Resign." He had approached the gathering after holding a news conference in which he said, "I made a mistake for which I am sorry." [full story] OK, I admit, I was being sarcastic. Anybody with half a brain would expect an guy like Wolfowitz to be a complete piece of shit. But part of this story is shocking, and that is the idea that there's a woman alive who would have sex with this:

Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Sanjaya

Another week goes by and this goofy little guy had enough votes to not only keep him on the show, but out of the bottom three. When American Idol first started, I wanted nothing to do with the show. Then along came William Hung and I started watching just the auditions to see all the freaky bad singers. Since then, I've seen the last couple of seasons as a guilty pleasure. But this time along, the media sensation that is the campaign to keep one dorky bad singer in the competition as long as we can has made the show a lot more fun to watch. The fact that Howard Stern has gotten behind it has made it even more fun. Listening to Eric the Midget get all angry about it and then finally decide to jump on the bandwagon, High Pitch Eric recording a Vote for Sanjaya PSA as Michael Jackson, or Jeff the Drunk pledging to vote 500 times makes for fun radio. And then you've got the folks at Salon over-analyzing the hell out of the whole thing. "As neocon dreams of American Empire recede, replaced by the daily body count from the slaughter bench that is Iraq, we're moving into our Caligulan phase. Little surprise, then, that as a nation we're in a schadenfreude mood. We're living in a world of pain, and it's some cold comfort to know that somebody else feels it. With his desire to pole-ax America's Favorite Show, Howard Stern has his finger on the mass pulse. 'American Idol' has always been about schadenfreude; Stern is simply retargeting that free-floating emotion, training our cross hairs not on the show's painfully lame contestants but on the Lord High Executioner, Simon Cowell. Strangely, Stern hasn't been very expansive about his motivations, which seem to be (as always) about salving his gnawing sense of inadequacy with a public display of demographic muscle. Of course, there's the sneaking suspicion, voiced by 'American Idol' producer Ken Warwick, that the self-styled King of All Media is naked -- that Stern's fan base simply isn't big enough to have any appreciable effect on the show. "But if Stern and his legions of arrested adolescents do end up bringing the show to its knees, what will it mean? That the logic of Google-bombing applies offline, too? That 'You,' immortalized as Person of the Year on a recent Time cover, are giving Big Media the finger? Too bad shock radio's best-known Alpha Dweeb can't rally his fandom behind a smarter cause -- like, say, media-reform issues such as corporate concentration or the FCC's utter capitulation to media moguls like Murdoch. Imagine what Stern's American idol, Lenny Bruce, would have done with the obscenity police off his back, a bully pulpit like Stern's and Web 2.0 at his command. For all his FCC-rebel posturing (Stern's Web site features a logo that rips off the clenched fist of '60s radical chic), Stern is about as politically subversive as Nelson Muntz. His 'American Idol' campaign is on a par, intellectually, with a YouTube video of a mailbox whack. OK, so it's Rupert Murdoch's gold-plated mailbox that Stern is whacking. It's still mailbox whacking."

Don's in Deep Doo Doo

As a fan of Howard Stern, I automatically don't like Don Imus despite the fact that I have barely ever heard his radio show. The two have been engaged in an on-air pissing contest since Howard first started doing afternoons on WNBC in New York in the early 80s, and it's only gotten uglier over the decades. So now Don's in a bit of hot water after he made a racially insensitive comment toward members of the Rutgers women's basketball team. While it's nice to see one entertainer with a long running feud against another entertainer that I like getting into trouble, and while I do not condone racism in any way shape or form, the PC nightmare that happens every time somebody says something stupid is getting really old. Let's start with Mel Gibson. It came as no surprise to anyone that Mel has a problem with the Jews, and it only took a whole lot of tequila for him to go on record with that. What ensued was a stint in rehab, a 2-night apology special in prime time, a whole bunch of free publicity for his movie and not the slightest bit of negative ramifications. Then there was Michael Richards and his on-stage n-word spewing meltdown. He makes some public apologies, goes to rehab, gets some free publicity (because who has even thought of him since Seinfeld went off the air?) and then disappeared again without any real negative ramifications (though his "victims" were trying to sue him for hurting their feelings and nothing has come of that). Now you've got Don Imus saying what he said, he's apologized on Al Sharpton's show and people are demanding he be fired for this. No word yet on if he'll be checking in to the same rehab for racism that Mel and Kramer went to. But this is getting ridiculous. What he said sucks. But one of the fundamentals that this country was built upon is that people have a right to free speech, and that means they have the right to make as big of a jackass of themselves as they possibly can. What people do not have a right to is never to be offended. So can we please just say to ourselves what Howard has been saying for years, that Don Imus is an angry old fake cowboy jerkoff, and just be done with all this hooplah that does nothing but make more people pay attention to that shriveled up freak in the cowboy hat?

I have YouTube Stalkers!

As a director on YouTube with one controversial video that has close to a million hits, I sometimes catch some shit from some morons. My typical response is that I will block that particular user and remove their comment. Usually they will realize the futility of their any further asshattery and leave it at that. But sometimes they feel the need to create three separate identities to bash me with. I've made my share of online enemies because of my politics and sarcastic tone, but whoever is behind these YouTube profiles has to be half retarded. If you're going to hurl insults, at least try to do it with some style. So what video did I make that got these people so pissed off? Take a look yourself and tell me if a good debate against my covering of an event is to call me gay.

What a Creepy Dick!

Here's a quick video of Bush's recent press conference from the rose garden. Don't worry about what is actually being said. The interesting part of this video is Dick Cheney, hiding in the bushes with a very odd look on his face. What was he doing there? Was his shotgun nearby, just in case some quail or possibly a lawyer came by for his hunting pleasure? Was he coaching Dubya with hand signals or in an earpiece? Is that where he hides his stash of dirty magazines and he just forgot that there was going to be a press conference going on? Was he not invited to this one so he had to sneak around to see what was going on? Just what was that creepy motherfucker up to? Via Wonkette by way of Freakgirl

In Good Company

In honor of April Fools Day, people were polled on who the most foolish Americans are, and George Bush did surprisingly well. He was only number 4, just behind Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Only slightly less foolish than Dubya was Dick Cheney, tied with Mel Gibson. Now that's a great pairing if I've ever seen one! You've got a raging anti-semite and a guy who isn't afraid to shoot his friend in the face. Rounding out the list are diaper-wearing astronaut gone bad Lisa Nowak, former congressman and future guest on "To Catch a Predator" Mark Foley, Oprah couch jumping Scientologist Tom Cruise and his brainwashed abductee wife Katie Holmes, celebutards Lindsay Lohan and K-Fed, soon-to-be prison bitch Scooter Libby, n-word spewing Michael Richards, and some guy who is only famous for cheating on Christie Brinkley. Here's the whole press release for the poll. I think that everybody definitely deserves to be on there. Apparently this is the first in many years that Michael Jackson has not topped the list. I thought he's pretty much been off the radar this year, but he's been enough of a freak to have an automatic spot on this list forever, something of a lifetime achievement award if you will. And how lucky is K-Fed that Britney had her little head shaving freakout? After being a complete joke, he all of a sudden became the reasonable member of their failed marriage. While Bush definitely is a fool, I would think Cheney to be more evil as foolish, but it's good to see him on there with the rest of these dregs.

Your Own Personal Chocolate Jesus

In yet another case of First Amendment Irony, a bunch of angry Catholics managed to stop an art display. Apparently Mel Gibson portraying the extreme and bloody torture of Jesus is hunky dory, but an anatomically correct sculpture of him in chocolate is highly offensive. A planned Holy Week exhibition of a nude, anatomically correct chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ was canceled Friday after Cardinal Edward Egan and other outraged Catholics complained. The "My Sweet Lord" display was shut down by the hotel that houses the Lab Gallery in midtown Manhattan. Roger Smith Hotel president James Knowles cited the public outcry for his decision. So what exactly is the issue? There are only two choices here. They are angry that he's carved out of chocolate, or that he has a penis. Neither of these choices makes these folks look too good. What do they have against chocolate? Is this a racist thing? Do they not want to picture Jesus with a dark complexion? And any issue with Jesus actually having a penis must make them very uncomfortable because if he had one, then he must have used it and if he used it like any other male of every species on earth, thus making all of the sexual hangups that the Catholic Church has based such a great deal of itself upon for all these years to be irrelevant. I mean if Jesus were a sexual human just like everyone else, then so are priests and we wouldn't want those guys running around having healthy and open sexual relationships with adults or anything.