My next film... NASA Astronauts Gone Bad?

No, I'm not really going to make this film (though if this story is still in the headlines in about a month I might have to make a short trailer), but I was a bit inspired by this post from Monsters and Critics about this whole crazy astronaut story... The New York Daily News mourns the loss of the MOW (movie of the week) "whose golden age peaked in 1992 when we got three, count 'em, three competing films on Amy Fisher, the 'Long Island Lolita' who knocked on her sleazy boyfriend's door and shot his wife in the head." Defamer.com has gone so far to cast the dream "could be" movie, with Toni Collette as Nowak, and "Monk" star Tony Shaloub as the male astronaut, the apple of Lisa's roving eye. I'm taking this idea and running with it. Here's my dream cast... Charlize Theron as Capt. Lisa Marie Nowak - As we saw in Monster, she can bring the crazy! Billy Bob Thornton as Commander William Oefelein - no particular reason why, I just think he'd be good for the part, or maybe it's because he's played astronauts before. Jenna Jameson as Capt. Colleen Shipman - Only a porn star should play the kind of woman you'd drive 900 miles in a diaper to shoot with a BB gun. Supporting cast: Artie Lange as Nowak's husband who has been driven to drink over this whole affair. Why Artie? This movie is going to need some comic relief and Artie rules. Ethan Hawke as San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, taking time from his own sex scandal to comment on the state of NASA. The Cryptkeeper puppet from Tales From the Crypt as Larry King. James Gandalfini as the head of Nasa. And Zach Braff as the wacky neighbor. And here's the promo teaser scene... In the bus shelter at the airport, Colleen sits nervously while Lisa Marie furiously pumps her BB gun. Lisa Marie: Once I pump this thing 8 more times, I'll shoot your fuckin' eye out, beeyotch! This post should be interactive, so please comment with your own casting suggestions and lines of dialog.