Ahhhh, the internet, where you truly can find everything.

While republicans are having a mass circle jerk about how they've succeded in bringing democracy to Iraq, Iraqi bloggers are telling a different story.

Poo protestes in Germany: "Legal experts say there is no law against using feces as a flag stand and the federal constitution is vague on the issue." Update: in the forum where I found this article, discussion has come up about a massive campaign to write our representatives demanding a constitutional amendment banning the use of feces as a flag stand. And why not let them debate something as stupid as that while we citizens sit back and have a good laugh at the expense of our government? Here's a letter you can use... (Cut and paste, and send it to your representatives. Hell, even if you don't live in the USA, send it to yours as well, it'll keep them nice and confused!) Dear Honorable ____________, It has come to my attention that in recent days, protesters in Europe who oppose our noble and divinely-ordained mission in the middle east in the name of freedom have been surreptitiously planting small American flags in (excuse me for being so blunt) piles of dog excrement. While certainly an outrage and an insult to our American way of life, what worries me more is that in this age of instant global communications, this trend is likely to spread, with the speed of an ideological wildfire. The time to act is now. And I sincerely believe that nothing short of a 28th Amendment to our blessed constitution is required to staunch the diaspora of this global scourge. Unless something is done to keep our most sacred national symbol from being propped up by piles of excrement, offal, refuse, flotsam, and bodily fluids, our entire way of life that we hold so dear may be seriously jeopardized. Please advise your colleagues on this most pressing matter. Respectfully, (Name) (Address)

Drugs are baaaaaad, m'kay.

Here's a little joke I read today... DEAR ABBY, My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit card bills. At the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious in a big way, although I don't quite understand it. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ. And now he has been going to the gym an awful lot and is into wearing uniforms and cowboy outfits, and I hate to think what that means. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help? Signed, Lost in DC DEAR LOST: Stop whining, Laura. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with him for four more years.

Cartoon buttocks, a few hells and damns, and a whole lot of dicks... This is what the Parents Television Council is complaining about to the FCC. Keep in mind, the PTC, a loony religious right censorship group, accounts for close to 99% of all complaints to the FCC. The biggest surprise in all of this is that the FCC rejected the latest 36 complaints. I guess they were too busy chasing Janet Jackson's nipple and Howard Stern to worry about how many times a nickname for Richard was said.

Please take just a minute to urge your senators to vote against nominating Mr. Torture, Alberto Gonzalez, as the attorney general for Bush Term II: The Fascist Boogaloo. If you don't know why a piggy like this shouldn't be attorney general, click here for more background info.

This rocks! A settlement has been reached in a lawsuit involving people who were wrongfully arrested at the 2002 World Bank protest where we filmed the closing scene of Washington Interns Gone Bad. After legal fees, each plaintiff (including Washington Interns Gone Bad cast member and all around kick-ass DC activist Adam Eidinger) got $50k, an apology from chief Ramsey, and drastic changes to police procedures involving protests and mass arrests. (via Wonkette)

Here's a film that I can't wait to see! "Conceived as a low-budget, hi-impact verite thriller for the political set, This Revolution, was developed, written, cast, shot (on 24P DV) and edited in 100 days, just in time for the Sundance deadline. The story follows Jake Cassevetes (Nathan Crooker), a network war shooter just back from Iraq who is assigned to cover the run-up to the RNC. When he meets and falls in love with Tina Santiago (Rosario Dawson), a young mother widowed after her husband was killed in Iraq, Jake is forced to question his world view. But it is not until he discovers his network has given his videotape of an anarchist Black Bloc group to Homeland Security that Jake decides to take action." Much of it was shot at the RNC convention protests in NYC, and members of the cast and crew were arrested during the shoot because they were mistaken for members of the Black Bloc. It premieres today at Sundance!

For all you people who just can't get enough of Kevin Smith, he's releasing yet another "Evening with Kevin Smith DVD." Wanna see the trailer? Of course you do (mov file).

You know how Coke machines have the little LED display that reads off the price, "Ice Cold," or tells you when it's sold out? Would you like to know how to program those displays without having to open the machine? Of course you do.

Yesterday, the San Francisco Chronicle discovered blogs in not one, not two, not three, but four stories. There's one about bloggers bearing their souls to the world, one about bloggers getting fired from their jobs (featuring Queen of the Sky and fellow contributor to Never Threaten to Eat Your Coworkers, Heather Armstrong), one about blogs breaking news stories (which includes a glosary of blogging terms) and a tech column entitled "Memo to media establishment: Ignore blogs at your peril."

Cool Blog Alert: News Hounds They watch Fox so we don't have to. You may have already seen some of the results of their work. Check out their manifesto and enjoy their blog.

Johnny Carson, R.I.P.

In case anybody was wondering what sort of person sends fan mail to serial killers, and the various reactions that gets from other serial killer buffs, check out this thread on the Serial Killers Tribe.

Wild night last night. We went out to celebrate a friend's birthday, starting with a wild house party in the panhandle and then moving to a bar in the tenderloin for an insane set by the Ass Baboons of Venus. They reminded me of the Boredoms, with a lot of screaming, screeching guitars and a super tight rhythm section. It was a great time. Everybody there was from Tribe (for those who are unfamiliar, Tribe is like a cross between Friendster and Craigslist and the bulk of users are in the Bay Area - all my friends need to join it now, dammit) and we got to meet some of the secret identities of some of Tribe's more interesting characters. So now it's noon and we are seriously dragging our butts to get this day started, but it was definitely worth it.

Howard Stern fans rejoice! Colin Powell's son is resigning as head of the FCC. But if we know anything about Bush Term II: The Fascist Boogaloo, his replacement will probably be a lot worse. Perhaps they'll get somebody from the Parents Television Council, since the vast majority of obscenity complaints come from them anyway. Why not just go straight to the source and get everything that might be the slightest bit offensive to these reactionary asshats off the air? They'll probably start with Sponge Bob.

For all of you, who like me, wish you could be in DC today protesting the re-coronation of President Asshat, check out the DC Independent Media Center for up to the minute reporting.

A question to my dear readers: any of you have any tips for a Texas Hold 'em newbie? I'm going to a poker game tonight and that's what they're playing. I've only played it once before and I went out pretty quickly. My grandparents taught me how to play poker. They had a weekly game with their friends. They always played dealer's choice and they had a wide range of games from 7 card stud to 5 card draw and everything in between. So I can play some oldschool poker. But Texas Hold 'em is the newschool poker and that's all anybody plays anymore, and I need some serious pointers if I'm not going to look like a tool tonight.

Sorry about the lack of posts lately. There's no lack of things going on in the world for me to comment on what with confirmation hearings for members of Bush Administration II: The Fascist Booglaoo, the nonstop death toll in Iraq, new plans for new wars in other countries, and dumb celebrity stuff. I've just been spending the time that I usually use post doing other things, like working on some freelance projects and playing Kingdom of Loathing. Plus, I'm having a bit of a lack of inspiration combined with a case of outrage fatigue. I'll try to get back to the daily postings that my 10's of regular readers have come to expect.

There are a lot of sites that offer images of the worst album covers of all time, but here is the motherload!

Speaker at a middle school career day extols the benefits of a career in exotic dance.

Praise the Boognish! It's a huge FTP site full of live Ween!!! (via metafilter). Free music is good. The last couple of days I've been downloading a lot of live music. Earlier this week in my carpool, the subject of the Grateful Dead came up. Both of us were big deadheads many years ago, and we spent the whole ride talking about it. So the very first thing I did when I got to work that morning was going to archive.org and downloading the classic 77 Cornell show. Later that afternoon, I downloaded the only Dead show I had actually been to (as far as number of shows, I was the lamest deadhead ever), plus some other goodies from other bands. Today I got the show the night after the Cornell show which is another absolute classic. Archive.org has an incredible library of live music from bands who allow and encourage taping. It's amazing how obsessive fans can be when they're given access to virtually every single live performance. Being a dedicated fan to a band like that can be a very time consuming affair. At least the digital age makes hardcore fandom a lot easier, eliminating the need for trading tapes by mail and the loss of sound quality with each generation of tape dub.

Walmart is playing damage control. They claim to not be in a race to the bottom for labor costs or decimate local economies by putting small businesses out of business. They're also going to start selling bridges in Brooklyn.

What happens when cameras are not allowed in the courtroom for the latest sensational celebrity trial? How about re-enactments from the court transcript?

Looks like Prince Harry might be visiting Auschwitz. Will he be in uniform?

Amid all of the bad things that will be coming with Bush Term II: THe Fascist Boogaloo, every now and then there's a little bit of good news. Today's silver lining is a blow against the religious right down in Jesusland the South. "ATLANTA (AP) - A federal judge Thursday ordered a suburban Atlanta school system to remove stickers from its high school biology textbooks that call evolution 'a theory, not a fact,' saying the disclaimers are an unconstitutional endorsement of religion."

Gee, I'm glad that our "president" is real tight with these people: RIYADH, Saudi Arabia (AP) -- A religious court has sentenced 15 Saudis, including one woman, to up to six months in prison and up to 250 lashings for taking part in an anti-monarchy protest.

Bush innaugural committee flip flops on Kid Rock. But not to worry, young republicans will still get to catch Hillary Duff play at the youth ball!

Ay carumba. WHFS en Espanol? Legendary DC alternative rock station WHFS has changed format to Spanish pop. WHFS was one of the first commercial stations to play alternative rock, back before alternative rock became top 40 and was usually only heard on college stations. I wonder if they'll still have a WHFestival at RFK stadium, only with a bunch of latin artists. I got to see Beck play at the one I went to in 97. WHFS was well past its prime by the time I moved to DC, but it's still a shame to hear about them just abruptly switching format and language like that.

Borat strikes again! This time, he goes to sing the Star Spangled Banner at a rodeo and goes into a rant... "Speaking in broken English, the mysterious man first told the decidedly pro-American crowd - it was a rodeo, of all things, in Salem, of all places - that he supported the war on terrorism. 'I hope you kill every man, woman and child in Iraq, down to the lizards,' he said, according to Brett Sharp of Star Country WSLC, who was also on stage that night as a media sponsor of the rodeo. An uneasy murmur ran through the crowd. 'And may George W. Bush drink the blood of every man, woman and child in Iraq,' he continued, according to Robynn Jaymes, who co-hosts a morning radio show with Sharp and was also among the stunned observers." (via freakgirl)

It's official. The US have given up the search for WMDs in Iraq. So this means that George W. Bush will be calling a press conference to resign in shame, right?

Check out this great review of Washington Interns Gone Bad (the movie, not the blog) from Eddie.com: "OMFG, this film rules! I don't know how I came across it, but I found the Washington Interns Gone Bad website and ordered the DVD before Christmas. It came today and I just finished watching it. Without giving away too much I'll just say it's genius on several levels and subtly touches on issues that people should be paying attention to such as Repubs and Dems stumbling to be the biggest corporate whore, the corporate media, and even globalization. Also includes a crossdressing congressman who surfs foot fetish porn, deadly interns, pieing, Indymedia and even the Reverend Billy has a cameo. Well worth the $16 (includes shipping)."

I'm not sure who started this. I read about it on Fark, and I think it might have started on a forum at Something Awful. Honestly, I don't care where it started. I just think it's a really cool idea. Go to MTV's Total Request Live page, scroll all the way to the bottom, select "Other," and write in Devo for the artist and Whip It for the video title. Oh yeah, and please spread the word.

You may or may not know about Jerry Springer: The Opera. It's been a smash hit in London for a couple of years, and was recently shown on the BBC amidst much controversy. Naturally, I've scoured every corner of the internets searching for a torrent of this. I found one that gave me errors every time I tried downloading it. If anyone knows where I can find a copy to download, please leave a comment.

Everything old is new again with the Bush administration. What's the latest thing to be recycled from the Reagan years? Death Squads.

Happy Birthday David Bowie! For some Bowie birthday bitTorrent goodness, check out Just Bowie Torrents (reg req) and Savage Jaw. I also highly recommend the Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars DVD.

Fellow bloggers in action: Deb and Janet of Freakgirl and Snarkcake respectively, have launched their own initiative for a positive way to protest Bush's policies and his re-coronation. Check out 120for120.org. If you participate and send them a story, one of the prizes that you could possibly win is a DVD of Washington Interns Gone Bad!

OK, here's a little something that I whipped up for the latest photoshop contest. Since I'm running the contest, I can't actually enter it, but I thought it might be fun to make something to get the ball rolling. Click the image to see the full, larger version.

It's time for a photoshop contest inspired by a Wonkette post. Download this zip file with 5 images of George and Laura Bush doing the universal satanic heavy metal salute, fire up photoshop, work your magic, and contact me about getting them posted. Here's a bonus image for you to use. Deadlne for entry is a week from today, and by then I'll figure out some method for judging or voting and a prize (good chance the prize might be everybody's favorite DVD, Washington Interns Gone Bad!)

Just when you think the Bush administration couldn't possibly be any more idiotic...